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How To Save My Marriage – Can I Spot The Problem ?

Article by Robert William Locke

If you are concerned about ‘how to save my marriage’, then the first step is in identifying where the problem lies. There must be knot in the rope somewhere. If you can identify that, then that is the first step. Common problem areas are about financial worries, parenting children, difficult sexual relations,and the inability or unwillingness to talk and listen to your partner. I would say that the latter is probably the most common of all.

Each of the ones I have listed above are pretty big issues but sometimes there are smaller more irritating problems which can erode a relationship like a massive mudslide on a mountain.

Let us say that you have managed to identify a problem or issue which is really preventing you both from having a fruitful and fulfilling marriage. If you can manage to tell your spouse that, then you are on the right track.

Now comes the difficult part. You both have to talk about it. If you are in a marriage where communication is restricted and limited, then you both may have problems here and you may have to get the help of a third party like a counsellor who can help to make the interaction easier.

They say that you need to spend ‘prime time’ with your children. That is so true but what about setting aside some prime time for your spouse? This is when you are going to talk about these issues and you should aim for a small time slot for just the two of you to do this every single day. This could be centred round an activity you both like doing like taking a walk but the important thing is that there are no interruptions or excuses.

How about dating your spouse again? In addition to the prime time, you need a weekly date and that should be based on an activity you both like doing like the cinema or just going out for a quiet dinner where you can talk and also help recreate the old times when you were dating regularly.

As you start to talk,you are going to get a nasty surprise and that will be that YOU are the cause of most of the problems! This is where having an open mind and being willing to make some changes are essential. You have to work on ‘how to save my marriage’ and that means both of you. The ability to listen and to be more self critical is all important.

It means trusting your spouse and also being convinced that you can still make a go of it. That means having faith not only in your marriage but also in your spouse. If these two elements are lacking, then you may be wasting your time in trying to save your marriage.

Are you able to forgive? Is your partner able to forgive ? Can the mistakes be pardoned and can you resolve to move on ? If there is something unforgivable then it may not be possible to overcome that particular obstacle and your marriage cannot be saved.

About the Author

You need a SYSTEM which you will find in the Magic Of Making Up to save my marriage .Check out the relationship rescue blog for more advice.

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