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I was a girl, but now I am a woman

how do i get a pardon
by JStove

Article by Boluwatife Oluwayomi

I enjoyed crawling up my mum’s side of their bed and sleeping off, feeling so safe and secured even when I was supposed to be a “big girl” …I was a girl but now I am a woman.

I could make up illness and enjoy watching my mum get worked up over me, compelling me to eat palatable meals and get worried if I refused …I was a girl but now I am a woman.

I detested being the one who had to go to the grocery or who had to fix the meals in a day. I felt like I should just disappear into thin air then reappear and see everything had been fixed …I was a girl but now I am a woman.

I disliked having my aunties’ children around for holidays because I hated having to clean up after them and worse still having to wake up in the night because the baby just refused to keep quiet …I was a girl but now I am a woman.

I detested being in a noisy environment and when I discover our sitting room was filled with friends that came to visit and the whole place full of excitement and uproar, I just slip away into the confines of my bedroom and bury my head into one of my novels and just enjoy the privacy. I was a freak for privacy …I was a girl but now I am a woman.

I felt responsible for myself alone, every other person was secondary …I was a girl but now I am a woman.

Always felt my parents were being unfair when I needed something so bad and they tell me “owo po” which literally meant “there’s much money”. The literal meaning I understood and so was confused why the money couldn’t be released but in actual sense, the phrase meant there was no money … I was a girl but now I am a woman.

I never felt any serious remorse or empathy for my parents when I forgot meals on fire and burnt them except the fear of what they will do, I always felt I’ll just go to the grocery and buy another foodstuff. Never felt remorse when I was supposed to preserve left over meals to make them useful another time and then get them spoilt, I always felt there was really no big deal, we’ll just cook another one …I was a girl,but now I am a woman.

Never felt the need for a personal relationship with God, always felt my parents prayers were enough insurance for me …I was a girl but now I am a woman.

I cringed at the slightest touch of a male …I was a girl but now I am a woman.

Sometimes I daydream and feel so disgusted that I’ll one day go through the “dirty game” with some man somewhere, end up with 9months of swollen tummy just to make him a father and then used to wish by some twist of nature, before it gets to my turn, God will have invented some other way! …I was a girl but now I am a woman.

I detested being around a pregnant woman because I felt being pregnant makes them irritable,smelly and dirty, so avoid them like plague but sometimes I felt trapped when I had to sit beside them in public transport …arghh …I was a girl but now I am a woman.

I couldn’t wait to rush home and tell my mum how some guy “harassed” me or ask her what to do and what to say in any situation I found myself. I couldn’t take any meaningful decision myself without her input …I was a girl but now I am a woman.

Now I have been through two sessions of 9months of swollen stomach myself and wonder how I would feel if some girl actually felt I am irritable,dirty and smelly.

Now I am constantly surrounded by two noisy soldiers who will do anything to get my attention.

Now I feel responsible for three wonderful men in my life that no other person will take responsibility for.

Now no one really cares if I eat or skip a meal, I’ll be doing myself much good by eating the right meal at the right time to avoid falling sick cos a lot is at stake.

Now not going to the grocery or fixing meals meant my family will starve!

Now I understand what it means having to plead with a sick child to eat and when in actual fact the child might just be pretending to be ill, just wanting a little bit of attention while you get yourself worked up.

Now I can’t bear any wastage of food no matter how little because the money for replacement (which is not easy to come by) is coming out of my pocket or my hubby’s.

Now I understand that I’ll be doing myself a lot of good keeping issues between my hubby and I, taking decisions on my own without involving a third party.

Now I know what it means to be broke and your child fails to understand even if you explain the situation to him.

Now that I have become some people’s parents, not having a personal relationship with God will mean putting their lives in jeopardy cos as I relied on my parents to do the praying, they also will rely on me to insure them with prayers and above all to lead them to having a personal relationship with God too.Now this is my conclusion and my submission, ( pardon my tautology, I needed it for emphasis sake), marriage is not for girls, it’s for women. If you still think, feel, behave like I used to, when I was a girl, then hey! don’t sign the dotted lines yet, because you are still a girl, you are not a woman yet. Take your time to grow up and become a woman before you say “I do”. Nevertheless, if you’ve already done that ( I mean signed “the dotted lines”), and you still find yourself caught in one of my school of thoughts and ways of life when I was a girl, it’s never too late, this is your chance to grow up.

About the Author

hi, my name is Boluwatife Oluwayomi. I discovered being a “terrific wife” is actually a serious business but much fun, it’s a matter of choice. There are lots of stages that lead to it and lots of sacrifices that sustains it. You wanna be a terrific wife like me or you are already a terrific wife like me, join me on my website, http://www.terrificwives.com, let’s flock together as I share issues that bothers round how to be a terrific wife and how to maintain the status quo.

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