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JOHN CARLSON: Quest for special turkey can be a tasteless act

a pardon
by rogiro

Article by marry

We will probably end up with our normal, run-of-the-mill turkey this Thanksgiving, not that I’m complaining.

After all, turkey is good!

This is especially true of leftover turkey, the white slices of which, when sandwiched between two slices of dark rye, along with a slice of cheddar and copious squirts of horseradish sauce, tend to make my eyes roll back inside my head… with giddiness, I mean.

It’s not Q.L.’s barbecued turkey, though.

Only Q.L.’s barbecued turkey is Q.L.’s barbecued turkey.

This brilliant deduction on my part came recently as I talked to B.J. Crumes about the Thanksgiving turkeys they barbecue in the eatery that his grandfather, Q.L. Stevens, started. I have been obsessed with the notion of their barbecued turkeys ever since.

Not that I have ever, personally, taken a turkey there to be barbecued.

I haven’t.

But I have been to parties where far more intelligent individuals than I have had the forethought to have their turkeys barbecued at Q.L.’s.

Usually, word of this arrives about the same time the scent does. Stepping through the door, then angling toward the kitchen, you look to where the de-boned turkey rests, glowing with heavenly radiance.

At this point, my first instinct is to grab the turkey, then begin eating it, aluminum serving tray and all, while flailing about with a spoon snatched from the nearest pasta bowl, warding off the host or hostess or anyone else stupid enough to try to take my, er, their turkey back.

Unfortunately, this sort of behavior tends to limit future party invitations.

No, when formulating ways to steal Q.L.’s barbecued turkey, classier is better.

For example, perhaps I could pocket my womens eyeglasses, lean over the tray for a look-see, then yell, “Rats! I have apparently lost a contact lens in the barbecued turkey! Pardon me, while I attempt to locate it.”

Then, using my face like the business end of a Hoover vacuum cleaner, I could start sucking up barbecue until I have covered the bottom of the tray with nose dents, at which point, whipping my rimless eyeglass from my pocket, I could then holler, “Oops! I totally forgot that I don’t wear contact lenses!”

Yeah, that’d go over well, at least with the vegetarians.

Of course, the smartest thing I could do is take my own turkey to Q.L.’s to have it barbecued, and maybe this year I will. Just in case I don’t, though, and we end up at somebody’s holiday party where Q.L.’s barbecued turkey is served, do yourself a favor.

Related eyeglass blog you can visit:

About the Author

Firmoo’s Blog is the information source in area of vision care, including eyeglasses, sunglasses, ageing and kid’s vision etc., solely sponsored by, an emerging online optical store offering high quality eyewear at the lowest prices.Firmoo’s return and refund policy make any purchase risk-free.

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