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Puzzling Creatures Those Women

Article by Jesse Wade

Puzzling Creatures Those Women

On a nice, warm, partly cloudy, and beautiful day in Manchester, Missouri, in St. Louis county, my happy self was enjoying writing an article, while sitting at an outside table of a popular restaurantI try to plant my organic body here as often as possible, because they have good food, good liquids to imbibe, a rest room (very important), and good folks to converse with. — it is also a wonderful place because they have an outside electrical plug, where I can use my laptop computer without using my battery. In other words; they have all of the comforts and necessities I need and enjoy, so I can pretend to peck out intelligent articles, perform other activities through the free WIFI, and even read a book or two.

As a teenager, and being attracted to the females that were going to and fro, and always seem to have something to say, I was aware that my main attraction to them was more of the organic nature. I always loved to use my imagination, but quickly discovered that if I let my hands do the imagining, that events would not always turn out the way I wished them to.

However; my son and daughter-in-law will freely acknowledge that, mentally and emotionally, I still abide in the past – the fifties, to be more exact! It was a time when my favorite (and still is) singer was truly singing – it was Elvis Presley! Vehicles were true automobiles, and at a glance, you could tell the make, model, and year. Gas was a heck of a lot less, and you could walk the streets at 1 A.M. without being worried about some mugwump ruining your day.

However; even in those days of the misty yester-years in the pages of my mind, those of the female persuasion were a total mystery to me. Even though I always felt that I knew what I wanted at any particular time, the females always seem to take hours, and sometimes, days, to make a decision. They would always appear to giggle at events where, to me, it was just logical — plus, they would get all upset and mad at things which were beyond my imagination. Yet, I was still attracted to them!

And so it was that summer day, when my computer was cranking out another article! My ears soon alerted me to quite a lot of giggling, stirring, chatting, and other assorted noises at a table next to mine.sure enough, they were females; and they were having a wonderful time. They were so active, and alive, and all of them were pretty — the scene even managed to evoke some fantastic and fond memories of some things I enjoyed somewhere in my past. But the one thing that really puzzled me was the fact that they all appeared to be speaking at the same time.

Now, I’m not sure of your folk’s beliefs, but I have studied some of the sciences, and have a pretty good imagination to boot. And when I apply my imaginings to all the logic of the sciences, I soon came to the logical and obvious decision that when all 4 of those folks of the opposite sex were all conversing at the same time, that it was an impossibility; at least in this universe, and in this dimension, for any one of them to actually understand what was being said.

Well, being my imaginative and logical self, and being in my upper sixties, and to my later consternation, my happy self could not pass up the opportunity to educate them on my observationand I was even willing to explain why! I should have known better!

So I picked my self up, stepped over to their table, and said: “Please pardon this older gentleman for interrupting you young ladies, but I couldn’t help but notice and hear what a great time you folks are having – and I just had to inquire about an observation I have arrived at.”

Naturally, they all gazed at me quite puzzled, but one of them asked: “What’s that?”

Reaching down, and picking up an empty plastic cup, I stated that if you got 4 of us men together, and asked us to talk about this cup, we could more than likely speak of what it is made of, where it came from, and how much it would cost in quantity, for about maybe ten minutes. However; after listening to you young (always say young) ladies for a few minutes, I am almost convinced that you could converse over this cup for at least an houror more! And not only that, you would all be talking at the same time – and when you are finished with that subject, each and every one (from my male perspective) of you will seem to know what the others said. I study some of the sciences, and my logical brain says that is impossible! How on earth do you women accomplish such a feat?”

After glancing at each other for a few seconds, the only reaction I received for my trouble, was from one of them, who looked at me as though as was some type of alien from another dimension, and slowly stated: “Yeah, and your point is?”

Being rather stunned, and realizing that I was not going to receive any resemblance of a logical or imaginative answer, I figured I had somehow stirred up a hornet’s nest, and decided to tiptoe back to my table, and wonder why I did that in the first place. Sitting the lower part of my rear anatomy on my seat, I searched through the misty clouds of my mind for more memories, and of course, the first one to pop up was when, back in the fifties, I had looked at my girlfriend, and thought: “Puzzling creatures those females.” Imagine what you will discover next!

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