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Posts Tagged ‘Ralph’

“Tales From the Conch Republic” by Ralph Krugler – Reader Review

Ahoy, me hearties! Shiver me timbers! Who ye be tryin’ to hornswaggle out of this merry yarn? Ye must share it or meet with the likes of Davy Jones himself!

Pardon the dramatic opening, but after reading this tale of adventure on the high-seas, one can’t help but get caught up in the excitement. Picture this…a beautiful island, set alone in the great watery abyss. A man awakens on the shore to wonder where and how he has arrived in his current state. He has no memory of what transpired prior to his landing there, nor where there really is. He is disheveled and reeks of enough rum to set the night aglow. But wait…this man is not a mere man, but a pirate! Captain Daniel Payton is his name …pirate extraordinaire, vagabond, scoundrel, friend of wenches near and far, are his games, to name a few. The Captain has awakened on the shores of Port Elizabeth, also known as the lands belonging to Governor Blankenslip, or so he is advised by young Bartholomew Blankenslip, his son. Now let me say, to know the Captain is to love the Captain as his character is built with many interesting quirks. For one, although he is a master with almost any weapon, he can’t remember the names of those he meets for the life of him. When speaking with young master Blankenslip, the confusion which ensues from such a small introduction leads to a more than willing agreement to be struck to get rid of this same man…he simply wants some food, rum, and a means by which to dispatch from the island. These goals being reached, Captain Payton sets off for the ports of faraway lands…or so he thinks. This is not the first visit for him to this island, nor the last time he will meet with young Bartholomew.

Being a pirate, stealing, or borrowing as he prefers, is in his very nature. His chosen means of escape was the boy’s father’s boat, for which the lad suffers greatly under the Governor’s hand. Thinking himself scot-free, Captain Payton sets out for his second escape attempt only to be befuddled by a vengeful spirit. The vengeance sought is justified as the spirit in question is that of Captain Jonathan Melbourne. This gentleman formerly of His Majesty’s Royal Navy was dispatched in a rather unfortunate attack on his vessel…unfortunate in the fact that not only were he and many of his men slain, but it occurred purely through being sold out by one of their one, Captain Brightside. This cowardly man wanted the vessel upon which they sailed, the Scavenger, for himself as well as glory and title, and so made the deal with the devil as was carried out. Captain Melbourne’s spirit, as well as his men’s, needs Brightside slaughtered in the same manner as they in order to release their souls from their watery anchor. Can a pirate be trusted with assisting in such a task? What about his crew?

With a lively cast of characters, and detailed descriptions of the lands in which they travel, it is not hard to envision yourself as a member of this hearty crew. Smell the salty air, listen to the wind gust into the sails, and have a laugh at the antics of Captain Payton. You can certainly count on an exciting tale with this lot. Happy reading!

He Is We- Happily Ever After [Lyrics]

i own nothing. 5 stars for finding this awesome song and band 🙂

Pardon Me, But These Lasers and Blinking Lights Mean You Are Standing Too Close
That should be effective at keeping most strangers away, as who wants to get hit in the eyeball by a flying button? Of course, the same effect could be achieved by just screaming loudly at the top of one's lungs until the offending solicitor walks away …
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