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The Empty Headed Athletes of the 21st Century

Article by Coach Ron

These days athletes are getting know more by their actions off the field, than on it. Its not just cases off someone trying to ruin their superstar rep, but the outcome of these modern day athletes thinking without using their head. So without further ado, enjoy a top 10 list that includes Druggies, Murders, and Cheaters, who all share one thing in common they are all idiots.

10. Rafael Palmeiro. Ironically my list isn’t the only thing Palimeiro ranks tenth on. Palimeiro was one of those feel good, all-american players whom a lot of people liked. He was on his way to a sure Hall Of Fame induction after retirement, some of his accomplishments include 3 golden-glove awards, 2 silver slugger awards, a 4 time all-star, 569 career home-runs ranking him tenth all time, and being only the 4th player to be a member of the 500 hr club and the 3000 hit club. On May 17th this all-american player sat in front of our US congress for his outspoken view on steroids. When asked about steroids under oath he said, “Let me start off by telling you this: I have never used steroids, period. I don’t know how to say it more clearly than that. Never.” he said all this while keeping a face straighter than Papelbon in the ninth inning. However on August 1st, he tested positive for steroids. Losing his respect, dignity, and integrity with fans nationwide. Also taking away any chance he had of one day being in baseball’s Hall Of Fame.

9. Kobe Bryant. A young upcoming player in the NBA, fresh off back-to-back NBA championships hoping to three-peat. When he was an accused of rape. After a long embarrassing hearing revealing Kobe has a thing for ejaculating on women’s faces, and that Kately Faber who accused Kobe of rape, has been on more hotel pillow cases than the complimentary mints. The case was eventually dropped, after Faber was caught in a string of lies. It seemed all Kobe did was commit adultery, it cost him millions though losing him various sponsors, and million for a ring he bought for his wife to make up for what he did.

8. Ricky Williams. After winning a Heisman at the University of Texas, Mike Ditka gave up all of the Saints draft picks for the 1999 season to get Ricky Williams, after performing poorly he was traded to the Dolphins were he led the NFL in rushing yards that season, only to retire from the NFL after failing numerous NFL drug tests. It appeared that Williams was a pothead, and went from being know for third and long yardage, to being known for third and bong yardage. After a return to the NFl in 2004 was ended due to another failed drug test, he went to play for the CFL.

7. OJ Simpson. You would think that after getting away with double murder OJ would actually clean up his act. OJ once again is facing felony charges, for stealing sports memorabilia from a Las Vegas casino. Funny thing is he was stealing his own memorabilia. Not to forget he did all this with a gun, and he kidnapped someone. The felony charges he faces are kidnapping, armed robbery, assault with a deadly weapon, burglary, coercion, and conspiracy to commit a crime. If OJ doesn’t get off lucky this time he’ll most likely spend life in prison. He also wrote a book titled If I Did It: Confessions of a Killer.Photo

6. Barry Bonds. One of the greatest hitters of all time*. Holds the record for most home-runs in a season*(73), but broke a more impressive record last year by passing Hank Aaron in most home runs all time, with a powering 762*. Yet, what ever he does, wherever he goes that tiny asterisk shall follow. In 2003 Bonds became involved in a scandal after his trainer was indicted with supplying anabolic steroids to professional athletes. Barry Bonds however claimed innocence, later in that year he went before a federal jury and like Palmeiro said he has never used steroids. In 2006, Bonds released a book called, Game of Shadows where he openly admits to using steroids, but he says his trainer gave him a clear substance that was suppose to help him with his arthritis. Either way he was indicted on perjury charges. Right, Barry. Barry your still the best hitter ever.*

5. Mike Tyson. At one time in his career he was considered to one of the greatest heavyweights of all-tim, however that was before he was hooked on drugs and followed the culture of cannibalism. The 21st century went hand-n-hand with the 20th. Tyson failed numerous drug test, fought few fights, and filed for bankruptcy. In 2002 two before a highly anticipated fight against Lennox Lewis, Tyson said,”I want your heart, I want to eat your children.” In 2003 Tyson not only got a stupid ass tattoo on his face, but he also went bankrupt. It was said that he earned around 0 million during his career, yet he somehow blew all that over a period of time, sad.

4. Marion Jones. Marion Jones, put one one of the most remarkable performances by a female in the 2000 olympics. Although she strived for an astounding 5 gold medals, she still ended with an impressive 3 gold medals, and 2 bronze. Throughout her entire career she had been suspected of steroid use, so it was no surprise when in 2004 the founder of BALCO claimed to supply Jones with 5 different illegal performance enhancing drugs. Like many other athletes she previously claimed to have never used these illegal enhancers. During the fall of 2007 though she admitted that she lied to federal agents when asked about using steroids. She has since been stripped of all her olympic medals, and was sentenced to 6 moths of jail on January 11th of this year.

3. Jayson Williams. Williams was an exceptional player on the court, but he became more notorious for what he did off of it. He was an above average player in the NBA from 1990-1999 before retiring due to injuries. In 2002, he was tried on charges of reckless manslaughter after killing his limousine driver Costa Christofi. According to Williams he was giving the driver a tour of his home while carrying a shotgun, when it accidentally fired killing Christofi. He then proceeded to cover it up by wiping his shotgun clean, hiding the body, and jumping in a pool hoping the chlorine would pardon him of his crime. He has since had numerous charges dropped but still can face up to 13 years in prison.

2. Roger Clemens. One of the most dominate pitchers of the 20th century. An 11 time all-star, 6 time cy-young award winner, and 2 time world series MVP. He accumulated 354 wins*, 4,672 strikeouts*, and was 1 of 89 players named in the Mitchell Report. Brian Mcnamee has been Clemens personal trainer throughout his career and confirmed what the Mitchell Report stated, that Roger Clemens had used H.G.H, and steroids during his prestigious* career. Teammate Andy Pettite was also linked to steroid use, however like Pettite, Clemens denied any steroid use. When asked why he purchased steroids he claimed they were for his wife. He went as far as going before congress trying to prove his innocence but, ended up looking like the boy who cried wolf. This wasn’t the only scandal he was linked to, early in 2008 he was reported to have a long-term relationship with country singer Mindy McCready, that began when she was 15 years old. Roger, is a sick and twisted man who should be stripped of all his accomplishments and thrown in jail, for perjury, and statutory rape is he is found to have had sex with McCready at 15.

1. Michael Vick. Yes you all knew it was coming, Michael Vick a star NFL player whom many young kids looked up to. A multi-millionaire who had numerous sponsorships and his own cleats. Was charged with two felony charges after it was discovered that he had been running an illegal and inhumane dogfighting ring. He is expected to be in prison till July 9, 2008. On top of this Vick has filed for bankruptcy, after being named one of the ten richest athletes in the world. Sources report that Vick is been treated with respect, and seems too get along with everyone except the guard dogs.

About the Author

This article was originally published at rootzoo.com by mavsmaniac. His favorite time of the year is coming up, NFL season. He gives great fantasy football advice but also gets a lot of his advice from the nfl football forums

Written In Regular POV…Please comment!!! 5+comments ~At the office~ Joe-*props his legs up.*Now what? Miley-*Passes by with a thick folder in her hands*This is WHAT. Joe-*picks up the folder, opening it gently and coming across a certain picture.*Ugh,now? Miley-Yes.*points to the chief’s office*Good luck. Joe-Uh huh.*enters*Sir? Chief-Good,Joe.Sit. Joe-You wanted to tell me something or are we…Mingeling?*raises eyebrow* Chief-*Huffs*Yeah right.*Picks up the photo*THIS is what I wanted to talk about. Joe-*Groans* Chief-Someone payed for HIS bail.And that someone is believed to be…*Shows the other picture of a young woman crossing the street with a briefcase*Her.She’s obviously in charge right now,due to the fact that she’s responsible for four other robberies. Joe-Of? Chief-Over 50000 dollars worth of money.Banks gone crazy.*Shakes his head* Joe-*Sits up*But sir,WHY am I here?*Confused* Chief-I’m putting you on this one. Joe-*Eyes widen* Chief-No arguments.This is YOUR assignment now.Get your team and get right on it!*points to the door* Joe-Deadline? Chief-You don’t have one as of yet,first get a lead one what they’re planning now. Joe-Right away,Chief.*Leaves* Chief-*Looks down at the photo*Sylvester..*Sighs*Dear brother,why have you chosen this? ~Outside~ Nick-HELL YEAH!*Slams the paper down* Miley-Nick?WTF? Nick-Miles…who says ‘WTF’ instead of the real thing? Miley-ME.now,here comes Joe.*Stands up*What’s our assignment?! Joe-We’re on the Sylvester case again
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