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The Risk of Resentment

Article by Robert Pardon

I received a comment on one of my blog posts the other day and at first I thought the person might be trying to pull my leg. They seemed to be very bothered by the concept of one day at a time and my being a proponent of it. We traded a few chats and it didn’t take long for me to realize they were serious and went as far as saying that one day at a time and AA had somehow disrupted their sobriety.

For whatever reason this person is angry and lashing out at things in their sobriety likely the same way they did while they were drinking and or using. Although not uncommon, it is a very dangerous path and if it doesn’t lead to relapse it certainly will destroy one’s serenity. I am not opposed to someone disagreeing with me, AA, or any notion I propose.

“Resentment is the number one offender”. This is what AA teaches and I agree one hundred percent. Resentment has been described as anger turned inward. I remember seeing people with unresolved anger become so miserable that eventually they had to drink just to ease the pain. Unfortunately, the person who is carrying the resentment is the only one hurting and more often than not the person one is resentful towards doesn’t even know it.

I am not saying things don’t make me angry and I don’t struggle with this issue. What I am saying is I practice step 10 on a daily basis and “when I am wrong I promptly admit it”. The cases when someone else is wrong I try to understand them as I would want understanding.

Early on in a newcomer’s sobriety we are not sure of what works and what doesn’t so the guidance and direction from a “sponsor” whom we can relate to is a very good source to know what and when of incorporating things and concepts into our life. Later on, as we are able to understand things for ourselves we can pick and choose what works for us.

Not everything that works for me in my recovery is going to work for you and vise versa, but I am so excited that what you are doing is working for you and I thank God every day that what He has led me to do is working for me.

The person I mentioned at the beginning not only disagreed with me, but began to make some assumptions about me, my sobriety and the captive life he thought I was living. He thinks I am living some unhealthy life of captivity to those who would seek to keep me conformed to the oppressive life that Alcoholics Anonymous seems to represent to him.

AA will be the first to say that we are not for everyone nor would we want to be. There are many people who get clean and sober through other methods and that is great. AA does states that everyone can benefit from their approach to change and living.

The bottom line is find something that works for you then do it, stick to it and God bless you as “you trudge the road of happy destiny”.

About the Author

Robert Pardon is the founder of, a website that offers recovery information and solutions for those who suffer from alcohol and drug addiction.

NDTV Walk the Talk with Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapaksa (Part 3) Days before the official ceasefire between the Sri Lankan government and the LTTE ends on Tuesday, January 15, Sri Lanka’s President Mahinda Rajapaksa has promised to hand over the LTTE chief to India if his forces catch him. Speaking to NDTV, the Sri Lankan President said that peace is not possible with LTTE leader Prabhakharan around. NDTV: Can there be peace till Prabhakaran is alive? Rajapaksa: If you ask me privately, I will say no because if he is there he will not agree to anything. NDTV: But if he agreed it will be okay for you? Rajapaksa: Certainly. NDTV: Then how will you deal with him, because in India he is a wanted man for Rajiv Gandhi’s assassination. What do you think? Rajapaksa: I wonder if India is serious about getting him. He allegedly killed India’s loved leader. I don’t think India will pardon him for that. NDTV: If you actually caught Prabhakaran, government of India will be in fix. Rajapaksa: If they ask me, I will send him there. Why not? No question. He has killed so many people and if India wants him, they have send one request, of course. Saturday, January 12, 2008 (Colombo) Video Courtesy NDTV India © Video Re-publishing on News Perpose Only

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