prettylink
728x90 header
Chickens Secondary Header

What To Do When You Can’t Forgive An Affair

Article by Elaine Currie

What can you do when you can’t forgive an affair? Is it possible to rebuild your damaged marriage without forgiveness?

When you have been betrayed by the person you loved and trusted, forgiving and forgetting is bound to be difficult. The person who swore a sacred oath to love you and cherish you, broke every vow they made on your wedding day. Your partner has destroyed the bond of trust. You are left feeling angry, resentful, ashamed and anxious.

You want to get over the affair, and move on towards reconciliation with your spouse. You loved each other deeply and had a good marriage before disaster overcame it. You desperately want to get back to the way things were. The problem is that you don’t think you can find it in your heart to truly forgive your spouse for the hurt inflicted on you and the damage caused to the marriage.

You want to rebuild your marriage, but the pain goes too deep. You want to build a future together, but your trust in your spouse has been destroyed. You are afraid that if you forgive your spouse, he or she might betray you again. The thought of going through the same kind of pain again is almost too much to bear.

You know that you won’t be able to rebuild your marriage unless you forgive your spouse’s affair. You long to get back to the way you were, but you can’t see how that can be achieved. The betrayal hurts too much for you to forgive and forget about it.

The first thing you need to do is to recognize that going back to the way you were before the affair is not going to happen. It is an impossible dream.

You cannot go back into the past and pretend things never went wrong. Events, both good and bad, have changed you and your spouse. You are not the people you once were. The marriage in your rosy dreams can never be anything more than a treasured memory. But there is a way forward.

You can move forward and make your marriage as good, or even better, than it was. It can’t be exactly the same in every detail, but it can be happier and more successful.

The way forward is to use your past experiences as a foundation and rebuild your marriage.

But what about forgiveness? What if you can’t forgive?

There is a way to move on with rebuilding your marriage without forgiving your spouse. If you take this route forgiveness may follow naturally. This route is the route of acceptance.

Acceptance can be a path to true forgiveness. You can accept what has happened even if you can’t forgive your spouse for the betrayal inflicted upon you.

People tend to assume that forgiveness is something you decide to do and the decision brings it into being. You just say the magic words “I forgive” and all will be well.

That doesn’t work in real life.

The act of forgiving is not like throwing a switch.

There is a difference between forgiveness and the decision to forgive. What most people call “forgiveness” is the decision to forgive.

You can’t forgive your spouse. But you can decide to forgive. You might not feel forgiveness in your heart. That doesn’t matter. This is acceptance. By making the decision that you will pardon and overlook your spouse’s behaviour, you are accepting it.

By being willing to forgive, you are in a state of acceptance.

Acceptance enables you to put the past behind you and move forward. You can start the work of rebuilding your marriage without waiting to feel forgiveness. The decision to accept and overlook your spouse’s hurtful behaviour is the important thing. When you take the road of acceptance, you are heading towards the state of forgiveness.

There is no need to delay the work of marriage healing while you try to find forgiveness in your heart. The sooner you accept what has happened and start to move forward, the closer you will be getting to true forgiveness.

Accepting that your spouse did something that hurt you and damaged your marriage does not mean you have to like what happened, or that it no longer makes you feel worry and pain. It simply means that you are accepting the reality of your present situation.

Once you accept the reality of your situation, there are exercises you can use to overcome the anger and fear you feel and help you forgive the affair. There are exercises that will help you to rebuild your trust in your partner, get past your feelings of jealousy, rid your mind of the awful images of the affair, and eradicate your negative emotions.

About the Author

There is a specific set of exercises that will allow you to rebuild your trust in your partner. Working on these exercises will enable you to forgive the affair and rebuild confidence in your spouse. Visit http://survive-affair.com to obtain a free report and email course to help you survive the affair.

Morgan Page ft. Lissie – Fight for you . Enjoy ! Lyrics: Meeting you here, the night’s alight with midnight cheer Our dust still unsettled, I feel the plucking of our petals I’m drawing circles don’t you know, protect the seed that wants to grow To a garden, pardon my territory I’d fight for you I never knew that I could feel this way I’m right for you This kinda love don’t happen everyday Be friendly but cautious, you’re gonna have to count your losses Easily attracted, but dangerous to get distracted I’m drawing circles don’t you know, protect the seed that wants to grow To a garden, pardon my territory I’d fight for you I never knew that I could feel this way I’m right for you This kinda love don’t happen everyday I’d fight for you I didn’t wanna have to raise my voice I’m right for you You really leave me with no choice So what do you want and what are you thinking? Isn’t it about time you stuck up for me? But what you can’t see is we’re under siege and I only fight because I believe Not gonna share you no I’d fight for you I never knew that I could feel this way I’m right for you This kinda love don’t happen everyday I’d fight for you I didn’t wanna have to raise my voice I’m right for you You really leave me with no choice I’d fight for you I didn’t wanna have to raise my voice I’m right for you You really leave me with no choice I’d fight for you I’m right for you

It's only fair to share...Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on Google+Digg this

Comments are closed.

Chickens Secondary Header
728x90 header
prettylink
Search the Site
Script to Sales
music-legal
film contracts
Chicken Pens and Runs
Application Selection
Manfreedkitchen